The book is also available worldwide. Use the ISBN 9783755490517 to find it on your preferred platform.
The Art of Fair Self-Assertion
How to Unite Clarity, Respect, and Responsibility
“Because fair self-assertion is the key to sustainable relationships in our society.”
About the Book
“The Art of Fair Self-Assertion”
guides you on how to communicate your needs clearly, respectfully, and authentically—without hurting others. The book integrates verbal, paraverbal, and nonverbal communication to make your messages persuasive and impactful. It explains how words, tone, and body language work together to help you appear confident and assertive in both personal and professional settings. Learn to resolve conflicts constructively while simultaneously strengthening relationships.
The challenges of our time—whether violence, discrimination, or social exclusion—require clear, respectful communication and proactive measures. “The Art of Fair Self-Assertion” demonstrates how targeted strategies can defuse conflicts, dismantle prejudices, and foster a culture of respect. The following examples highlight global societal issues and how proactive approaches can help address them:
Domestic Violence Worldwide
According to a report by UN Women and WHO, an estimated 30% of women globally—approximately 736 million women aged 15 and older—have experienced physical or sexual violence by an intimate partner, or non-partner sexual violence, at least once in their lifetime. This figure excludes cases of sexual harassment.
“The Art of Fair Self-Assertion” offers practical tools for recognizing and addressing harmful dynamics. It empowers individuals to set clear boundaries, reflect on their needs, and de-escalate conflicts while seeking support before violence escalates.
Workplace discrimination and harassment remain pressing global issues, disproportionately affecting marginalized groups. According to Human Rights Watch, tackling these challenges requires legal reforms and workplace policies that promote equality and dignity. “The Art of Fair Self-Assertion” offers practical strategies for addressing discrimination assertively, fostering a culture of mutual respect and inclusivity.
According to data from the report "Behind the Numbers: Ending School Violence and Bullying" by UNESCO and UNICEF, globally, slightly more than one in three students aged 13–15 experience bullying in some form. This pervasive issue often leads to long-term emotional and social challenges for children and adolescents.
“The Art of Fair Self-Assertion” equips young people with practical strategies to respond confidently and respectfully to bullying. By setting boundaries, communicating effectively, and fostering mutual respect, the book helps create a supportive and inclusive environment both in schools and beyond.
Ethnic discrimination continues to challenge societies worldwide, disproportionately impacting marginalized communities. The United Nations emphasizes the importance of education, advocacy, and policy reform to combat racism and promote equality. “The Art of Fair Self-Assertion” provides individuals with tools to address biases through respectful dialogue, fostering mutual understanding and inclusivity.
Discrimination against LGBTQ+ individuals persists globally, leading to exclusion, inequality, and violence in many societies. According to Human Rights Watch, advancing LGBTQ+ rights requires education, legal protection, and advocacy. “The Art of Fair Self-Assertion” offers tools for respectful and assertive responses to discrimination, promoting inclusion and meaningful dialogue.
These examples highlight how societal challenges such as discrimination, violence, or exclusion can be mitigated through prevention, clear communication, and mutual respect. “The Art of Fair Self-Assertion” provides practical tools to identify conflicts early, act appropriately, and create sustainable change in personal and societal relationships. By fostering understanding and promoting actionable strategies, it empowers individuals to contribute to a more inclusive and equitable society.
International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women
November 25 marks the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. This day highlights global efforts to combat violence against women and promote preventive measures. Domestic violence remains one of the most common forms of violence affecting women worldwide.
Prevention and Fair Self-Assertion
“The Art of Fair Self-Assertion” provides practical tools to empower women in preventing and addressing violence. By fostering inner strength and clear communication, it enables individuals to set boundaries and handle conflicts confidently.
Women affected by violence can seek help from international support networks such as UN Women. These organizations provide multilingual resources, advocacy, and direct support services to empower women and address violence on a global scale.
The International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women emphasizes the importance of respect, responsibility, and fair self-assertion. It reminds us of the global effort to end violence and create a society where safety and dignity are universal rights.
“The Art of Fair Self-Assertion”
was created as a response to the increasing societal tensions characterized by violence, discrimination, and social exclusion. In a time when clear and respectful communication is often lacking, this book offers practical approaches to defuse conflicts, dismantle prejudices, and foster mutual understanding. My years of experience in communication and training have shown that fair self-assertion is the key to overcoming personal and societal challenges.
The principles of fair self-assertion are rooted in my beliefs and experiences. They are based on proven methods and can be applied in many areas of life. These thoughts are at the core of my approach:
“Fair self-assertion is not just a tool for me, but the key to building personal and professional relationships on equal footing.”
“The ability to assert oneself fairly and respectfully has fundamentally changed my life and my understanding of communication. It's amazing how much more positive the reactions of those around me have become as a result.”
“I have realized that fair communication not only defuses conflicts but also builds trust, respect, and mutual understanding. It is a bridge between perspectives.”
“Fair self-assertion gives you the inner strength to remain authentic and respectful even in difficult moments—a vital companion for everyday life.”
These insights illustrate how important clear and respectful communication is for our lives. It is the path to defusing conflicts, building trust, and creating sustainable changes in personal and societal relationships.
Mathias Ellmann is an interdisciplinary expert with a unique combination of technical knowledge, communication skills, and a passion for education.
He holds formal qualifications in communication, leadership, group facilitation, and counseling, which he earned at the University of Hamburg’s Faculty of Education. He leverages these competencies to develop innovative approaches to conflict resolution and personal development.
His book, “The Art of Fair Self-Assertion”, is a synthesis of scientific insights and practical experience. It serves as a guide for anyone seeking clarity, respect, and responsibility in personal and professional relationships in a complex world.
Learn more about Mathias Ellmann’s academic contributions on his dblp profile.
Find strategies to de-escalate disputes and earn respect.
Professionals Seeking Recognition
Learn how to position yourself confidently and clearly to advance your career.
Individuals Seeking More Self-Confidence
Discover how to build inner strength and present yourself with confidence.
Table of Contents
What Fair Self-Assertion Means
Fair self-assertion blends clarity, respect, and responsibility. It spans verbal, paraverbal, and nonverbal levels, working together to foster effective and respectful communication.
Why Fair Self-Assertion Is Important
Amid a world filled with conflicts and inequalities, fair self-assertion forms a foundation for trust, dialogue, and equitable conflict resolution in personal and professional relationships.
What Distinguishes Fair Self- Assertion from Other Forms
Unlike dominance, manipulation, or selfishness, fair self-assertion focuses on respect, collaboration, and solutions, distinguishing it from unfair methods.
What Makes Self-Assertion Fair?
Fair self-assertion is guided by three principles: clear intention, respect for others, and value orientation, ensuring a balance between personal needs and others’ rights.
An Example of the Difference
Comparisons highlight how fair communication fosters trust and long-term solutions, contrasting it with the adverse effects of dominance or manipulation.
The Relevance in Today’s World
Fair self-assertion is crucial in today’s society, helping to defuse conflicts, nurture a culture of respect, and create sustainable personal and organizational relationships.
Personas: Fair Self-Assertion in Action
Practical examples demonstrate how fair self-assertion addresses challenges like discrimination, workplace conflict, and personal boundaries.
Coaching: Fair Self-Assertion with Mathias Ellmann
Based on the principles of the book “The Art of Fair Self-Assertion”, I offer individual coaching sessions to help you enhance your skills in verbal, paraverbal, and nonverbal communication.
Learn how to integrate clarity, respect, and responsibility into your daily life.
✔ Practical exercises for conflict resolution
✔ Individual analysis of your communication patterns
✔ Implementation of the three pillars: respect, responsibility, and fairness
✔ Strategies for personal and professional challenges
This coaching gives you the opportunity to tailor the techniques presented in the book to your specific challenges and apply them sustainably.
The logo of “Fair Self-Assertion” symbolizes the balance between clarity, respect, and responsibility.
The curved shapes represent dynamism and harmony, while the scale signifies justice and balance. It highlights that self-assertion does not need to be perfect,
but is instead a continuous learning process – as illustrated by the slight irregularities in the design.
